Quota reached

The word “fierce,” (adj. 1. of a violently cruel nature; savage; wild) was retired from the English language last night after Christian Siriano, winner of Project Runway 4, used it approximately 6,284 times, thereby exceeding the limit and prompting its retraction.

“Our studies show that ‘fierce’ has been spoken with more frequency than perennial favorites ‘a’, ‘the’, and ‘fabulous,’” says Noah Webster, of dictionary fame. “With 70% of such utterances verbalized by Siriano and Tyra Banks alone.”

Many object to the ruling, believing that the word has not been given an ample chance to express its true meaning.

“Let’s face it: I’M fierce,” says dominant male lion Duke, of the San Diego Zoo. “I’ve escaped three times, killed five men with my bare paws, and eviscerated a small child.”

“If that’s not fierce, I don’t know what is,” he adds. “Silken ruffles, my ass.”

~TVoD

Posted in Project Runway on March 6th, 2008 | | 0 Comments

AETP outraged at usage of human hair

Human rights organization AETP took to the streets today after last night’s controversial Project Runway airing. The episode, part one of the two-part season finale, featured flamboyant designer Chris March showcasing his collection, which included several pieces utilizing human hair as trim.

“This is unacceptable,” stated Sparky Tubbington, AETP’s spokespug. “Humans are friendly, loving, innocent creatures who don’t deserve this kind of sick abuse.”

AETP has officially vowed to boycott Project Runway and the entire Bravo network until it issues a formal apology.

“By allowing Chris March to express himself creatively, Bravo and Project Runway are condoning these deplorable practices,” claims Sparky. “We need to speak up for the humans who can’t speak for themselves.” Sparky then declined further comment by licking his testicles.

AETP picketed in various locations around New York City, most notably outside the Parsons School of Design and throughout the Fashion District. Protesters carried signs and chanted slogans all day long, except for a period of about twenty minutes wherein the group collectively chased a squirrel down the street. They vow to continue the campaign again tomorrow after a brisk walk and a healthy poop.

~TVoD

Posted in Project Runway on February 28th, 2008 | | 0 Comments