Geezer succeeds in playing gadget game, looking foolish
Donald, a 69-year-old contestant on The Amazing Race, took part in a Japanese challenge this week that required the ability to manipulate various technological items. After countless hours of instruction and training, Donald succeeded in locating the power button.
“It was so dang small,” he claims. “How’s anyone supposed to find that thing?”
The challenge called for racers to use a cell phone to control a soccer-playing robot. Each team member needed to score a goal in order to advance in the race.
“I pushed the doohickey that made him walk, then hit the kicking thingamabob, but the darn thing just wouldn’t work!” he cries, spittle flying everywhere. “Back in my day, we kicked our own balls, thank you very much!”
Several days later, Donald completed the task. He was immediately rushed to a nearby hospital, requiring oxygen and an IV drip.
“I didn’t expect it to be so hard,” he gasps. “I thought I had a handle on the gizmos of today. I have an internet. I play Myspace. I look at the Google. I know what I’m doing! Watch, I can call the nurse with this button.”
“Consarn it!” he cries as the Craftmatic adjustable bed whirs out of control. “Nicolas, stop this crazy thing!”
~TVoD
Posted in Amazing Race on January 8th, 2008 | | 0 Comments
Delightful asses far more entertaining than mere vehicles
Following an outpouring of favorable reactions to the premiere of Season 12 of The Amazing Race, producers quickly rushed to get word of their new concept out to viewers: From now on, donkeys will be the only method of transit from one place to another for the rest of the season, and, perhaps, the entire series.
“Those donkeys were the most exciting thing I’ve seen in years,” says viewer Don Hathaway. “The drama, the terror, the suspense! Would they walk, or would they continue to stand still and drive their teams to insanity? I was on the edge of my seat!”
The episode’s challenge required teams to load up their donkeys with peat moss and gently lead them up a hill, where they would be rewarded with their next clue. (The teams, not the donkeys. The donkeys were reportedly rewarded with hay.) Unfortunately, for some teams, the donkeys had other plans. Their stubbornness, which for some reason came as a surprise to some of the more mentally-challenged contestants, contributed to the downfall of several teams, even resulting in the much-welcomed elimination of screechy racers Ari and Staella.
“With a car, you know what to expect,” says producer Nate Summers. “Sometimes it breaks down, but generally speaking, it’ll get you where you need to go. The same can be said for trains, buses, subways, boats, taxis, pedicabs, rickshaws, and tuk-tuks. It’s when you bring live animals into the fray, that’s when you get good television.”
Therefore, with the exception of a limited number of flights, contestants will now be racing around the world atop a plucky yet unpredictable crew of donkeys. Producers are confident that the resulting chaos will be nothing short of riveting.
“We’ll vary it up a little, to keep it even more interesting,” says Summers. “Blindfolded donkeys, pregnant donkeys, drunken donkeys. We could throw also a camel in there somewhere. Maybe a shark or two. The possibilities are endless.”
~TVoD
Posted in Amazing Race on November 6th, 2007 | | 1 Comments