Tyra Banks’ spinoff show a steamy success
Viewers of the popular reality program America’s Next Top Model were surprised to find that a new series had premiered, mid-season, in place of their favorite show. The new series features the contestants from ANTM’s current season, but in a much different capacity. As illustrated on the pilot this past Wednesday, contestants will no longer vie for the title of America’s Next Top Model, but rather America’s Next Top Whore.
“We started out this season of America’s Next Top Model with a lot of fresh ideas and a commitment to take a stand on hot-button issues such as smoking, green living, and healthy body images,” says creator and host Tyra Banks. “But once Enrique Iglesias showed up, we decided that it would be best to throw all that out the window and start from scratch as a competition to see who could be the biggest slut. It’s CAARAAAZY!”
The pilot featured a challenge in which the girls were to appear in racy music video. After a lesson from Tyra Banks on how to maximize smuttiness by salaciously smearing their bodies against a wall and crawling across the floor like drunken prostitutes, the strumpets were ready to move on to the next step. Not by donning more clothes, however. The tramps-in-training were led onto the set of the video, where they were dressed in various shreds of leather that barely constituted actual human clothing and placed in rooms that contained such props as chains and handcuffs. The hopeful top whores were then required to perform erotic dances on camera, and on Iglesias.
“It was a dream come true,” says contestant Ambreal. “I’ve always wanted to gyrate against a pole wearing a dominatrix costume in a bondage porn flick. I think it’s really going to launch my career. Hi Mom!”
The change in format comes as a surprise to many, especially since Tyra Banks often scolds her harlots for posing too “hoochily” at their photo shoots. Surprisingly, Banks even derided Ambreal for that very reason in the pilot. However, producers are now blaming that on an editing gaffe.
“Our mistake. Tyra meant to say that she wasn’t hoochy enough. How weird would it be if, after personally training the trollops on how to obscenely flaunt their naked bodies in various lewd and licentious poses, Tyra were to reprimand them for being sluts? That just wouldn’t make any sense. It would damage the integrity of the show.”
Banks promises more exciting challenges throughout the season. In the weeks to come, the hussies will be required to learn the proper use of a stripper pole, perform lap dances for the International Olympic Committee, and solicit sex in exchange for money.
~TVoD
Posted in America's Next Top Model on November 8th, 2007 | |
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