Popular chick flick linked to an increase in homicide rates
FAYETTEVILLE, AR - Sociologists at the University of Arkansas released a stunning report last Friday detailing the surprising and horrifying impact of the 1991 film Fried Green Tomatoes upon the human subconscious. A study conducted last July shows that 50% of people who view the touching tale of love, loss, and redemption suddenly become maniacally violent and display aspects of homicidal rage for up to thirty minutes after the initial viewing.
“These are troubling figures,” says Dr. Roy Fossett. “We haven’t seen this kind of carnage since the Driving Miss Daisy Bloodbath of ‘89.”
One such example of this increasingly disturbing trend is the murder of an as-of-yet-unidentified man outside a grocery store in Dillon, Texas. All signs are pointing to two young teenagers who are believed to have been watching the heartwarming story featuring the triumph of the human spirit about twenty minutes before the murder.
“My guess is these two sick kids were so enraged by the loving friendship between Idgie and Ruth that they had no choice but to go out and beat an unarmed man to death with a lead pipe and dispose of the body in a river,” states Dillon Police Chief Bob Fuchs. “It’s just that inspiring.”
The CDC is pushing for a warning label to be placed on all copies of the offending movie, as well as a toll free number for viewers to call should they begin to feel the bloodlust rising.
~TVoD
Posted in Friday Night Lights on October 11th, 2007 | |